Have you ever been invited to a party by a new friend? You know the friend, but you don't know anyone else at the party. The friend is welcoming, but doesn't necessarily introduce you to anyone else. You have to decide--do I sit in the corner awkwardly, or do I interrupt existing conversations and introduce myself? This is a bit like what it feels like to be a woman in the military. You are obviously allowed to be in the military, and now, in every single branch. But you are also aware that many guys do not believe you belong, or at least, don't know how you fit in. When I went to Flight School, there was just a smattering of women in the classes around me. According to a 2009 article in Army Aviation Magazine (this was the only significant reference to woman in army aviation I could find), they boasted that 10% of women are in Army Aviation! So if I went to a party where there were 20 people, there would be 2 whole women there!
Listen, I expected to be in the minority when I joined the Army, and I definitely expected to be in the minority when I decided to fly a recon/attack helicopter. The experience of it was interesting, and sometimes, just lonely. If I walked into our company offices, and some warrant officers were chatting about "dude" stuff, they would instantly clam up if I walked into the room. I had to be not easily offended because that is just how they talked, and if I made a fuss, I was the problem. Guys would get together and hang out, which I would never deprive them of, but if I was invited, there was a weird tension, like neither of us knew how to bond. We could be friendly, but not friends. I had to be careful with who I befriended because if we were spotted together too often, we would be accused of having sex with each other. One would think that if you did meet another woman in the Army, we would instantly get along, but I found it to be the opposite. I don't know why, but we always seemed pitted against each other, but maybe not realize it. In Flight School, many women were at the top of the class (not me). I think we have to be overachievers to prove we belong. The guys wouldn't consider the women to be their competition, though. They didn't even consider them to be part of the race! This resulted in the women being uber competitive, very type A, and thus, not always hospitable.
Here are the wonderful things about being a woman in the military. 1) I will forever be a badass. For men, joining the military isn't necessarily unusual, though honorable. For a woman to join the military, though, you are strong, bold and unique. 2) I felt like I could offer a different perspective to problems. Women are generally better at team activities, and are better under pressure (You'll have to listen to my podcast episode for more details). 3) Women are usually better performers because they have to prove themselves more. So I know I was really good at my job. 4) I am more of a feminist now, because of my experiences in the Army. I believe women are amazing contributors to society, and they should be valued much more than they are, even in 2024!
If you haven't checked out Episode 18: My Experience as a Woman in the Military, please do! I have more interesting stories than what is here in this blog post.
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